I Have A Voice

I have a voice

It has been a loud;

An extremely loud voice

Used both in moments of exuberance as well as in moments of extreme frustration

These two expressions of ‘loud’ are quite different

I am sorry for one;

That at the time I did not know a better way to use my gift of voice

And at the same time,

I have deep gratitude for the other

That through voice I was was able to express myself in such a way that I could feel it reverberate throughout every cell, atom and electron of my being.

On occasion my voice has fallen soft

Sometimes it has been driven into silence

At times fear has stolen it away;

So much so that I though I might die if the doorway was even cracked open

Sorrow has brought it to wailing

Both madness and rage have made it to roar

Joy has brought forth explosive and contagious, belly-laughter

Ritual has called forth deep, cavernous, animalistic growling

Love has called forth through it healing

It has been used to soothe

To invite the weary to rest

It has been used to call the drifting back to the safety of shore,

To invite the lost home into the bosom of the Great Mother

It is not the prettiest voice you will come across

But it is mine

It is not well trained

But it aims to convey a message of love and gratitude

It hopes to relay an authenticity that knows no other way to present itself

Sometimes it is painful to keep a song from leaping from the depths of my heart

From piercing my lips

From making its way to another’s heart

I have come to understand (through the guidance and nurturing of Bonewoman) that when there is a rumbling

(And there is certainly a rumbling every now and again)

That I must honor the sound

The song that begs to take wing

The greater the rumble

The louder the voice

I have tried to contain it

But truthfully

I’m not in charge.

I have come to learn that sometimes

I just have to submit

Not just Inviting

But allowing release

Before it begins to fester

In ways unwelcome.

I have a voice.

I

Have

A

Voice

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